A Pillow for the Commander [Drunk!Erwin x Reader]

---A Pillow for the Commander: [Drunk!Erwin x Reader]---

Author's Notes: In which the Reader, a junior officer in the Recon Corps, discovers that her superior is a little… cuddly when inebriated. Warnings for fluff, suggestive themes, alcohol and drunken snuggles. Hope you enjoy =3

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The candle burned low upon the sleek mahogany desk, just barely illuminating the sheets of parchment that decorated your workspace. You rubbed your bleary eyes with the back of an ink-smudged hand. No wonder they strained! The hours had flown by before you even knew it. Now the day was nearly over, and the sun was setting beyond the horizon. Just where had the day gone?

Time certainly flies when one keeps herself busy!, You mused to yourself, setting your quill down. Only then did you notice the soreness in your writing hand. Six hours of non-stop paperwork were clearly taking their toll. And yet, as your eyes wandered about the office suite, you felt a sense of accomplishment. Judging from the formidable barricade of documents that sat in front of you, all bearing your handwriting, more work had been done than not, and by your standards it was a rather respectable amount!

Hurrah for productivity! You certainly hoped the Commander would be pleased.

You began putting away your writing implements and straightening up the stacks of paper. On an impulse, however, your eyes drifted towards the other side of the room. In actuality, this office belonged to Erwin, and as his assistant, your modest little workstation was by far the most recently-added fixture in the suite. In a way, you working here in the same room as him felt almost like a trespass. An invasion, even. And yet, when your recent promotion in the Recon Corps enlisted you to a wider set of responsibilities within the branch (which was basically a shit-ton of paperwork), Erwin himself had insisted on it. Apparently, you had a knack for navigating the tangles of bureaucracy and managing all things administrative - enough to sufficiently make the Commander's life easier.

Your cheeks turned faintly red. From what you remembered, he had been astonishingly persuasive about it too! Difference in rank aside, you had found it a little difficult to say no to a man whose pleasant, charming, and handsome smile had practically begged you to say yes. … Especially when he had stared at you so hopefully and intently with those vivid blue eyes of his.

Thus, the moment you had given your agreement, the Commander had set you up rather nicely in his office, at a desk facing his just across the room. There you worked in the presence of Erwin Smith. He was never far off when you had something to report, and you were never far off when he had more work for you to do, so it was a convenient arrangement. Plus, in the middle of tackling documents, there was plenty of opportunity for the two of you to have light conversation, exchanging words across the room while working, or chatting over tea break.

All things considering, you had the notion that Erwin would rather be fighting his battles in the field than in the confines of an office, and you often felt the same way as well. The work was tedious and tiresome … but with the cordial company you kept, it actually wasn't so bad. As a superior, Erwin was strict and demanding, but not in the same way the Lance Corporal was. He never yelled at you, even when you made mistakes. He wasn't generous with his praise. But whenever he gave it, he did so in a way that made you feel as though you genuinely deserved it. …Which, quite frankly, made the long hours poring over lines completely worth it.

… Okay, so you were a bit of a sucker for compliments, especially when it came from the Commander (whose fine-looking features never failed to make your heart skip). Where was the fault in that?

Today had been a little lonely though. Erwin's desk, a little larger and more stylish than yours, was currently unoccupied. The distinct lack of clutter and paperwork indicated that he had not been in the office for a while - for the entire day, in fact. This was prearranged, though. For the past few days, you had noticed that Erwin's pace with the paperwork had been a little sluggish. You'd even spotted him making uncharacteristic errors on the documents, much to his embarrassment. You had always suspected him of overworking himself to the point of exhaustion, judging from the redness in his eyes and the dark circles beneath. When at last he misplaced a crucial missive to the Military Police, turning his entire office upside-down, only to have you point out that it was in his hand the entire time, you finally put your foot down and suggested that he take a day off.

… In fact, you had insisted upon it - quite adamantly too! The Commander had resisted at first, but was finally sold on the idea when you reminded him that the Commander of the Military Police Brigade, Nile Dawk, was in currently in Trost. The two of them were old friends, you had discovered earlier, and this was a rare opportunity for them to catch up.

… Of course, you liked to think that your promise to hold down the fort had a part to play in convincing him.  Your reputation for being reliable and well-organized wasn't just dandelion fluff, after all.

And so, Erwin left for Trost, leaving you to work alone in the office for a large part of the day. You'd had the occasional visitor. Major Hanji would pop in every so often, cheerful grin and all, just to check up on you. Lance Corporal Levi had also poked his head in earlier, inquiring, "Where the hell has he run off to? That man with the big-ass eyebrows?" He wasn't the only one who had asked for Erwin, nor had he been the only one who was surprised to hear that the Commander was taking a break for once. Nevertheless, they left their messages with you and wished you luck with the paperwork.

Daylight was dying down however, and Erwin had yet to return. With a yawn, you glanced out the window, feeling strangely forlorn. Perhaps it was a sign that he was fully enjoying the day off, just as you had hoped. Still, it looked as though you would be closing up shop alone today. Silly as it sounded, you kind of missed him. The sooner the Commander returned, the sooner you could report the day's progress to him, and be relieved of the silence and monotony of an empty office.

The creak and clash of a wooden door opening in the hallway outside was the first hint that you were about to get your wish. You looked up from the stack of papers, hearing the irregular rhythm of shuffling feet, murmured voices, and of someone bumping haphazardly into furniture.

"Woah! Steady there, Erwin," spoke a male, nasal voice. "Come on you, don't make me do all the work here, keep moving! And mind the suit of armor!"

The ruckus of clattering metal told you that someone was less than successful in that endeavor. You stood there, not daring to believe it until a familiar voice spoke…

"…Ah! My apologies to you, good soldier… By all…by all means… Carry on with your sentry!"

The Commander's speech was strangely slurred, and lacking its usual enunciation. Your suspicions pricked.

You ran into the hallway to investigate, and came face to face with your two superiors. Sure enough, there was Commander Nile Dawk, bearing his friend's arm over one shoulder. Slumped at his side was Erwin, Commander of the Recon Corps, now struggling to bear his own weight on two unsteady feet. His expression was dazed. Unfocused. And with his free arm, you caught him in the midst of giving his salute - to the partially-fallen suit of armor, no less.

That was when you spotted the flask of whiskey in his hands, swirling half-full in the crystal.

You stared slack-jawed for about a full five seconds, before you finally caught Nile giving you an odd look.

"C-Commander Smith! Commander Dawk! You've returned!" you stammered, snapping your heels together and bringing your fist up in a salute. Nile gave you a curt nod of acknowledgement, shifting uneasily beneath the weight of his contemporary.

Erwin stirred, lifted his head, and blinked up at you with bleary, half-lidded eyes. His blonde hair was in slight disarray.

"…Marie…?" he mumbled faintly, struggling to focus on your features. "…Is that you?" The faintest of smiles appeared on his lips. "How wonderful it is to see you again…"

Nile kicked him in the ankle.

"No, you old git," he snarled. "This poor girl is your assistant, and looks nothing like my wife whom you keep inquiring after!" He dipped his head towards you. "No offense meant, Lieutenant."

"None taken, Sir," you said, feeling utterly bewildered. "Just… what in the world happened?"

All signs pointed to the obvious. Still, you were a little shocked to see the Commander in such a state, especially when you were so used to seeing him so poised and dignified, everything trim, with not a single thing out of place. This time, however, the man could barely keep himself standing upright. His blond hair was in slight disarray. His bolo tie was askew, hanging awkwardly to one side, and the top collar button of his shirt was undone. On his handsome face was an expression of drunken lethargy. If anything, he looked half-asleep.

Nile grimaced, looking highly shame-faced. "My apologies. Lieutenant, this is unequivocally my fault." He paused to give Erwin a light jab in the ribs to prevent him from passing out entirely. "Long story short, I offered to treat Erwin for the evening, and we stayed a little longer than anticipated. We had a chat over old days, left him alone for a few minutes to tend to some Military Police business…and came back to him looking like - well, this."

Out of nowhere, Erwin let out a low chuckle. "Hahaha… Why the angry look, Nile? I've never felt better. In fact…. why didn't I think of doing this before…? This is far more enjoyable than leading expeditions…. fighting Titans…doing the cursed paperwork…"

The words tumbled out of his mouth without a care in the world. "Remind me… to thank [First] when we get back, yes? This …'day-off' business… all her idea. Such a bright and clever girl…"

"We are back at Legion Headquarters, Erwin," Nile pointed out dryly. "And you can thank her yourself - she's right in front of you."

The rugged, black-haired man let out a disgruntled sigh. "Clearly I went too far when I made fun of him for not getting married while he still had the chance." He abruptly shook his head. "…Listen, Lieutenant [First]. I really hate to do this to you, but would you mind taking him off my hands? I was supposed to report in an hour ago, and I'm anxious to make the trip back before I'm missed. … Will you be alright with him?"

"Y-Yes, of course!" you replied in earnest, reaching out with both arms. With that, Commander Dawk transferred Erwin over to you, confiscating the bottle of whiskey in the process.

"Oof…!"

Your knees buckled as the Commander of the Legion practically fell on you, half-conscious. His arms hung limply around you. You grunted as you wrapped your arms around his mid-torso, propping him upright to prevent him from slumping to the floor. Goodness was he heavy!

Nile watched as you struggled with Erwin for a few seconds.

"Are you sure you'll be fine?" he asked, looking a little concerned as you exerted yourself. Erwin himself, eyelids half-closed and fluttering, was of no help at all.

"Yeap!" you gasped brightly, at last maneuvering the Commander into a more manageable position, letting him lean against your side with his arm slung over your back. "I've got him! Don't worry…!"

Nile stood there and blinked, at last choosing to believe you. "Alright, then. Evening to you both."

You bowed your head, on the assumption that having both arms full with Erwin excused you for not being able to show a proper salute. As Nile turned a heel and left the castle, you drew in a few deep breaths and adjusted your hold around Erwin's form. His head drooped from side-to-side, before coming to a rest near your shoulder.

"Lieutenant…?" he murmured, barely coherent.

"Come on, Commander," you urged him gently. "Let's get you out of this hallway before you catch cold."

And before anyone sees you, you added quietly.

He let out a low hum in response, one that you surmised was of the agreeable sort as you lead him back into the office suite, in a rather awkward half-carry. His tall, sturdy form was large enough to dwarf yours in both size and weight, which made the journey a little more precarious. Twice you nearly fell over with him in tow, which would have been mortifying at the very least. But you toughed it out, guiding the Commander through the narrow doorway and holding him close to keep him from slipping and banging his poor, pretty head on the stone floor.

"Ugh… Please… not the paperwork," Erwin muttered pitifully as you entered the office. "Anything but the paperwork… I've had it with all the sodding paperwork… I'd rather hand-feed my right arm to the Titans than do paperwork…"

"No, no, no, we're not doing paperwork," you reassured him, patting him lightly on the hand. "I already finished most of it today. The rest we can worry about tomorrow."

"Hm? …Really?" His eyes lit up, suddenly lucid.

"Yes! Really!" you exclaimed, mistaking him for having sobered up already. "Everything that's needed doing has already been done! Of course, there are some documents that require your approval, but that can wait until later, yes?"

Steadying himself against you, Erwin looked up and stared at you as though you had just saved him from the gallows. "You're… you're a goddess, [First]. All that work… Truly, what would I do without you? I always knew you were something amazing."

You flushed red. "It's 'Lieutenant', Commander Erwin," you reminded him, for propriety's sake. "And really, I'm not. I'm just here to help, that's all."

"Mmmhm… And what a wonderful help you are!"

No question. That was definitely still the whiskey talking. It wasn't just the unabashed praise that was making things awkward - at that point, Erwin had suddenly leaned in with his full weight, squeezing an arm around your shoulders. His side pressed closer against yours as you led him across the office to the door on the other side. You'd have protested against this for good manners' sake, but by now, he was barely coherent.

Thank goodness it's late, you thought to yourself. I'd hate to have the rest of the Legion see their Commander in such a sorry state…

…And yet, inebriated as he was, the Commander was neither unruly nor disruptive whilst under the influence. If anything, he was reasonably well-behaved. Cooperative, even. Sure, he'd mutter to himself every so often, but he didn't try to fight you, or pull away, or snarl at you. In fact, he was about as docile as a child nodding off to sleep in their mother's arms after an eventful day.

"You smell so nice, [First]…"

…A child in the form of a fully-grown man, standing six foot two inches tall, bearing two-hundred pounds of muscle, anyhow. You were just barely keeping the both of you standing by the skin of your teeth!

"This way, Commander," you coaxed him along, gritting your teeth. "We're almost there."

Valiant as your efforts were, hauling him up an entire flight of stairs to his personal quarters was certain to be an unrealistic (and dangerous!) endeavor. Instead, you navigated the suites until the two of you reached the officers' lounge. If he was going to crash, you may as well help him crash on something soft. The leather sofa by the fireplace would do nicely.

"Careful now. …Easy does it."

He sighed softly as you lowered him down. Prying his arm from your shoulder took some effort, as he seemed reluctant to separate himself from you. But soon enough, you managed to ease him into a lying position across the length of the couch. …His legs were long enough to stick out beyond the armrest, but there was nothing you could do about that. As he closed his eyes, breathing serenely, you spent a good few minutes getting your wind back.

Should have made Commander Dawk carry him here, you thought to yourself incredulously, perched on the edge of the seat and massaging the ache out of your shoulder. You frowned as the sofa creaked beneath you. Guess it wasn't quite as comfortable as it looked. A crease appeared on the Commander's forehead as he slept off his drunkenness, resembling a scowl. But he made neither a sound nor a complaint, and rested easy with his hands folded over his well-built torso.

…Which put you in a dilemma, to be honest. If he was determined to remain passed out for the rest of the night, then there was no possible way you'd be able to help him back to his room, was there? …Would it be alright if you just left him here? This you wondered.

You considered nudging him awake and see if he was in any shape to brave the stairwell. But something about the way he slept so peacefully made you decide otherwise. He had looked so tired these past few days…

Instead, you reached over, and brushed the loose strands of sand-blond hair away from his forehead. An eyebrow twitched at your fingertips. His eyelids fluttered, but did not open. His chest rose up and down steadily, and a sighing breath escaped his narrow, parted lips. You gazed at him, transfixed. It was amazing the sort of difference a little distance could make. You had always remembered him as being handsome, with an elegant maturity in his features. But until now, you had never mustered the courage to get a good look up close. The Commander of the Legion was a little unapproachable, so utterly stoic and focused, and so eerily calm that it was almost intimidating. But now, this was less the case. Fast asleep, he seemed more at ease. Peaceful, and less guarded. Perhaps even a little vulnerable. Though the sheer difference in rank was enough to keep you from doing anything inappropriate, like moving a little closer, it certainly didn't stop the temptation.

You snapped out of your trance as he stirred faintly, shifting his position. The rigid leather couch squeaked unpleasantly with his movements. Judging from the restless expression on his face, he was having a hard time getting comfortable. At first you weren't sure if he was going to wake. All he did was mumble something barely audible, something that sounded suspiciously like your name. But his eyes remained closed, and so you let down your guard.

With a sigh, you stood up from the couch and looked around. Perhaps it would help if you took up the search for something to use as a blanket. And perhaps even a pillow… anything to help him sleep a little better.

Without warning, Erwin's hand reached up and closed around your wrist. Your heart jumped.

"…!!"

…All it took from him was a single, determined tug, and you were flung back towards the couch, right into his waiting arms.

"Eek…!"

You let out a squeal, feeling yourself hauled right off your feet and onto the leather seat. The moment you started flailing, Erwin wrapped you up in a tight embrace, pinning your arms to your sides, and you to the couch. Panicking, you struggled to wriggle your way free, only to find yourself overpowered by his strength. Instead, you felt Erwin rolling onto his side to accommodate you. Closer, he pulled you in, until your back was pressed against his chest.

Eyes closed, he leaned his face against the back of your neck, humming his contentment. "Mmm…. This is nice."

The warmth of his breath tickled the surface of your skin. You squirmed and squeaked like a mouse caught in the coils of a snake, but his thickly muscled arms tightened their hold the more you tried to pull away. Your heart raced, causing you to stammer feverishly.

"C-Commander! Begging your pardon, but this is hardly appropriate!"

Unfortunately, the alcohol impeded his ability to see reason. Instead of letting you go like he ought to, he simply clutched you even closer, rolling in towards you on the couch.

"Urk...!!"

The more you struggled, the more he buried you with his weight, stifling all movement entirely. The sofa creaked noisily as you lay sandwiched underneath the torso of a full-grown male, helpless and trying to comprehend the situation at hand. The sensation of his taut, muscled body, so warm and snug against your own, was enough to make your cheeks burn a flustered shade of red. The feeling was so strange, foreign, and none too comforting… and quite frankly, more than enough to derail your rational thought process.

"This feels perfect, holding you like this…" His voice was a deep rumble, a resonating hum within his chest. "So warm and soft…"

Oh dear. Now he had one leg wrapped around you. Your breath quickened. Escape was certainly not an option at this rate.

"C-C-C-Commander Erwin!" you gasped, as he shifted into a comfier position, engulfing you with his arms in the process. "Please, I know you're a little drunk, but you should really snap out of it! What if someone sees us?"

Erwin responded by snuggling his cheek playfully against your collar.

"Commander, are you even listening?" you hissed shrilly, straining to get your arms free.

"Shh…" he whispered, reaching up and pressing a finger to your lips. You gulped. "Be still. I just want to sleep like this for a while."

With that, he closed his eyes and began to lightly snore, while you remained trapped and palpitating underneath him.

Cheeks aflame, you buried your face in Erwin's shoulder and let out a muffled screech of frustration. Your head spun. This was beyond mortifying! If someone came in and saw you both now, you didn't know whose reputation would be worse off - yours, or the Commander's. It would be an absolute nightmare of mockery and never-ending rumours! Worse yet, it could mean the end of your term as Erwin's faithful assistant. What in the world would he think of you by the time the spirits wore of? Nothing but shame and embarrassment, for sure. All this time, you had struggled to keep yourself in good standing with him, to remain utterly professional. Straight-laced. Morally upstanding. Platonic. Because at the end of the day, he was a Commander of the Legion, and you were just a lowly junior officer. No matter how many stray hopes and dreams crossed that foolish mind of yours, a leader-subordinate relationship was as far as it would ever go between the two of you.

…Which was why, as he snuggled against you so affectionately, as though you were a beloved plush toy, you were flooded with such untoward emotions. A tangled mix of guilt, horror, and… and something resembling elation. It was nothing short of indecent, especially with the way he held you so intimately. …The way his body melded with yours? Even more improper! …His leg hooked around you? Scandalous! …And the way the tip of his nose nuzzled against your neck, sending prickling sensations across your skin? You might as well die blushing.

…And yet, you couldn't find the will to fight it. No, it would be more accurate to say that you didn't have the desire to. Embarrassing as it was, being cuddled by the Commander of all people, you couldn't find anything wholly unpleasant about it. In fact, if you allowed yourself to calm down a little, take a few deep breaths, and get this mess of emotions under control… it actually felt kind of nice. His arms held you fast, but they weren't crushing you, or anything. And all things considering, cuddling was all he wanted to do right now, so it seemed. As long as that remained the case, then surely there wasn't anything bad about it, right…?

As Erwin's chest rose up and down, breathing in serene rhythm, you listened quietly, feeling a strange sense of security in his embrace. A faint scent of cologne rose from the fabric of his shirt and jacket. Too bad it was accompanied by the trace of spirits, but even that you didn't mind so much.

Now that you thought about it, leaving the Commander would mean leaving his warmth for the cold, dark, and lonely hallway outside. Did you really want that?

You sighed, feeling conflicted. No, this would never do. You couldn't ignore basic protocol. A commander's relationship with his followers should only be a platonic one and no more. Staying with him like this would only mean your embarrassment as a soldier - and more importantly, his.

At some point in time, his grip around you had loosened. You used this to your advantage, quietly and carefully working your arms free while praying to Maria that you wouldn't wake him. As you pried yourself away, the sofa creaked, but his eyes remained shut. Your heart lifted with hope. Almost there!

… The moment freedom was within your grasp, however, his arms tightened and squeezed you against his form once more. Drat!

A familiar groan filled your ears.

"Ah… [First]…"

This time, pressed against his burly chest, you looked up and found yourself almost nose-to-nose with him.

His eyes remained closed, but a faint murmur escaped his lips.

"Sorry… but I don't think I can let you go just yet…"

Shifting a little, you eased your arms up into a more comfortable position, resting your palms against his shoulders.

"Sir?" You asked in a hushed, tentative voice. "…Is something the matter?"

"…I don't know," he responded, much to your astonishment. "I can't remember… the last time I ever held anyone close like this..."

There was a faint scowl upon his face again, as though he were in pain, or seeking some form of solace. Against what, you wondered? And from who?

"If you would… just this once…" he whispered. "…Stay with me a while? …Please?"

It was not an order, you realized. It wasn't even just a request, but a plea. Why he needed so badly for you to stay by his side was beyond your ability to guess, but you were still opinion that inebriation had a large part to do with it.

You bit your lip, weighing your options. But considering the fact that he was clinging to you so stubbornly, did you even have a choice? You sighed, half out of frustration, the other half out of endearment. Honestly, you thought to yourself. Who would have thought? The Commander is like a spoiled little kid when drunk.

In fact, it made him seem a little pitiful in comparison. Wonderful. How were you going to leave him at this rate? Without feeling completely guilty in the process? The way he had begged you earlier, trying to break away now would just feel like outright abandonment.

And Erwin himself certainly wasn't helping the matter either.

"…Don't leave me," he pleaded, pressing his head against yours. "…That's all I ask of you."

With that, you resigned yourself at last, reaching up to brush the stray locks of hair away from his forehead.

"Alright then, Commander," you said with a sigh. "…If it would put you at ease."

You pointedly cleared your throat. "…But I warn you, just this once."

Upon hearing your answer, Erwin relaxed fully once more. His arms no longer constricted you, but merely kept you close, with the promise of no more attempts at escape. As the tip of his nose brushed your forehead, you could feel a warm sigh of contentment escape his lips.

"Thank you, [First]…" he whispered, in a state of absolute bliss.

You felt the impulse to correct him - 'It's Lieutenant, Commander Erwin.' But ultimately decided against it. Propriety was far gone out the window by this point, after all.

It was at that point that the day's exhaustion finally caught up with you. All of a sudden, everything seemed to make you drowsy - the warmth of the man holding you, the steady rhythm of his breath, and the deep pulse of his heartbeat pounding in synch with yours, slow and even. Your eyelids grew heavy. Your head drooped, coming to a rest against Erwin's shoulder. The fireplace crackled well into the night as the two of you, Commander and Lieutenant, fell into deep, blissful sleep on the leather couch.

---

By the time you opened your eyes again, the first threads of daylight were filtering in through the window. Outside, you could hear birdsong. You blinked and looked about, finding yourself alone, curled up upon the leather couch. The Commander himself was nowhere to be found, having likely gotten up and left sometime before dawn.

…And yet, while you had slept, a rather large-fitting military-issue jacket had been draped carefully over your form, like a blanket. Upon the fabric lingered residual warmth, and a familiar scent. You clutched it, peering at it curiously, and ruminating upon the rather strange turn of events that had transpired in the night.

You sat up with a yawn, hugging the jacket close to your chest. Your eyes were puffy, and your hair was a mess. Worse yet, you were still in uniform, and nowhere near your designated sleeping quarters.

Well, it's early yet, you remarked to yourself, squinting your eyes toward the window. Perhaps I'll be able to sneak back before anyone notices…

Rising from the couch, you let out another wide-mouthed yawn, making your way out of the lounge and into the office. You carried the jacket with you, dreading the prospect of having to return to the Commander after last night's mishap…

A familiar voice, deep and rich with velvet, greeted you mid-yawn as you stepped into the office.

"You're awake."

You clapped a hand to your open mouth, and whirled around, cheeks erupting with heat. Of all the bloody timing to be had…!

Erwin was sitting at his desk, arms propped up, face buried against folded hands. Either he was sharing your embarrassment, or he was currently nursing the most ungodly migraine known to man. …Or both. That was a strong possibility.

"C-Commander!" you squeaked, frantically doing your best to flatten your bedhair. "Um… Good morning!"

"Yes… Good morning," came the somewhat non-committal reply.

Having been the earlier riser, the Commander's appearance was as prim, sharp, and neatly groomed as usual. Quite frankly, you felt that this gave him an unfair advantage.  Then again, he was not at his usual composure.  In fact, something seemed to be troubling him, and deeply at that.

You stood there in front of his desk, absolutely lost on what to say, until he got the first word in.

"If you would have a seat for a moment, Lieutenant?"

You stuttered faintly before giving a solid reply.

"S-Sir!"

Nervously, you pulled up a chair and seated yourself in front of the Commander's desk, still holding onto his jacket. A stark reminder of what had happened last night.

The Commander's eyes were closed shut with intense concentration, his expression graver than usual. There was no question. What happened between you was on his mind as well.

You sat there for a while, fidgeting, until at last he let out a beleaguered sigh.

"I'll arrive straight at the point," he said grimly. "Concerning what happened last night, I have to confess… my memory is still rather hazy on the details. And this blasted headache certainly isn't helping me remember."

His scowl deepened as he massaged his forehead with the tips of his fingers. "…Nevertheless, I have arrived at the notion that I may have done something unprofessional and entirely inappropriate in your presence. The fact that I wasn't coherent enough to remember or restrain myself is by no means an excuse for my actions - regardless of what exactly they may be."

Removing his hands from his face, the Commander leaned back against his seat, looking both remorseful and shamefaced.

"I honestly have nothing to say about the matter, other than that you have my complete, unconditional apology for whatever embarrassment - or injury, Sina forbid - I may have inflicted on your person." He grimaced at the thought. "… I understand fully if any further interaction between us would be outside your comfort level. It was not my intent, but… well, I really have no way to explain myself whatsoever."

At last, he lifted his face to gaze at you, eyes meeting yours in a serious expression.

"…That said, Lieutenant, please tell me that I have your forgiveness, and that I haven't lost your respect - not only as a Commander, but as a man."

You stared at him, struck silent. All things considering, you should have known that an apology from the Commander would be the order of the day, but you were taken aback by his wording all the same. Moreso the fact that there was a look of genuine worry on his face. One that bordered on anxiety at that. No doubt he was wondering, had he ruined your impression of him that night? Did he betray your trust in him as a capable, proper, and respectable leader? Or worse, had he overstepped his authority as Commander, placing you at risk?

Somehow, the look of hope, fear and guilt in his eyes indicated that his sentiments were a little more personal than that. He was just no quicker to admit it than you were.

Guess you had to be the one to take initiative then.

"To be perfectly honest, Sir…" you began, clearing your throat timidly. "I'm hardly the faultless one here. … What happened last night was also due to a little shamelessness on my part, as well."

You smiled sheepishly. "…After all, I wasn't all that eager to get away from you in the first place, Commander."

Suddenly mortified at your own words, you averted your eyes, but not quick enough to miss the sudden red hue that had appeared on the Commander's face. For a moment, no words were exchanged. Only shy, embarrassed silence.

In time, however, you mustered the courage to speak again.

"Just to set the record straight, Commander," you said, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. "…You didn't cause me any harm, or insult. Maybe a little embarrassment, but I'm guessing that your feelings are the same in that regard."

"Mm…" Erwin murmured. "…That they are." He ran his fingers restlessly through his hair, contemplating the matter.

"Well then, in the aftermath of the whole mishap," he said, looking intently towards you once more. "What do you propose we do about this, Lieutenant?"

The answer was quick and immediate on your lips. "Speak of it to no one and behave as if nothing happened in the first place?"

To your surprise, Erwin let out a burst of laughter, deep and genuine.

"A sound plan," he remarked. "There are enough rumours circulating through the legion already without the two of us to help them along."

"Oh?" you blinked, tilting your head to the side. "I was not aware. What exactly might they be, if I may ask?"

Erwin rose from his seat, pacing aimlessly around the office in heavy strides, stretching the ache out of his arms.

"I have to admit, some of them range from highly inappropriate to outright ridiculous. Those I'll not say to your ears, to spare us both from further embarrassment."

You watched as he turned, walking slowly towards you. "… But the gist is that… well, there may be more going on between the Commander of the Legion and a certain Lieutenant than what lies within the bounds of a professional relationship. And to be honest with you, Lieutenant [First]…"

He placed his hand around yours, lifting it from the arm rest. "…I'm wondering myself, if there is any semblance of truth to that rumour."

Your heart felt like a stone skipping across a lake as Erwin bowed his head, and pressed the back of your hand to his lips.

By the time the silence was broken, blue eyes met yours, filled with hope.

"Was…was that to your liking, Lieutenant?"

Cheeks red, you smiled sheepishly at him, already knowing that propriety was far gone out the window. A long, long time ago.

"I don't really know, Sir," you admitted. "…But I do think it's something I could learn to get used to."

Erwin looked at you, and smiled back.

"Then, I would be more than happy to teach you."