Reset - [Yandere!Levi x Amnesiac!Reader] - Part 1

[WARNINGS for creepiness, violence, TRIGGERS for abusive/obsessive relationships, and probably language.  It's a yandere ship, that's your warning right there.  No lemons, though.]

Premise:

The reader is struck with amnesia following the most recent expedition of the Recon Corps, and is assigned to Levi's care.  Both of them put every painstaking effort into helping her restore her lost memories.  All the while, the Reader is beset by nightmares that hint that something more sinister and deceitful is at work.

Let the creeping begin. 8D



---Reset---

His hand clamped coldly over your mouth.  Your strength was weakening.  To someone like him, pressing you into the floor wasn't even a matter of effort.  You were already worn out at this point.  Pinned down.  Broken into submission.  And yet, your instincts screamed at you to fight, for you knew that if he was allowed to carry out his intent, then there would be absolutely no hope for you.

His full weight bore down on your shoulders.  You couldn't budge an inch.  As the mouth was removed from your hand, you gasped desperately for air.  You couldn't find your voice.

A finger was pressed to your lips.  His hand lifted, and the same finger was held before his own lips, curved into a cold smile.  

"Shh..."

You had a secret to keep, whether you liked it or not.  And he was going to make sure that you kept your silence.

You couldn't fight back.  All you could do was stare back with pain and defiance, placing every last effort into remembering his face, his identity, and all he had inflicted on you.  No matter what he did to you, no matter what cunning tactics he used to hide his true nature... you had to remember...

Don't forget, you told yourself.  Don't forget...!

Something thin and metallic glinted in the dark.  You gasped, feeling the sting of something sharp against the side of your neck, piercing your skin, filling your bloodstream until it felt fit to burst...

The world began to warp and twist before your very eyes.  You were falling into darkness.  Your lips were met with a cold and dispassionate kiss, one that was more mocking than anything.

His whisper crept into your ear, the final moment before everything faded into oblivion.

"I'll see you when you fall asleep..."

...

...

"GAH!"

You awoke from your nightmare with a gasp, eyes snapping wide open in terror.  Your skin was covered in a layer of cold sweat, trembling from head to toe in the cool, open air.  Once you realized that you were back in the waking world, where phantom visions of fear and madness could do you no harm, you began to calm down.  

You let out a shaky sigh.

Everything... everything had all been just a dream, and you barely remembered a shred of it.

Sunlight assaulted your eyes.  You lifted a hand to cover your face, wincing in pain.  Breathing in deeply, your lungs were filled with a fragrant scent.  You were outside, body sprawled out against a verdant field full of flowers.  A faint breeze whistled overhead.  You could hear a pair of crows cawing somewhere around you.  

The lush grass formed a soft and cool mattress against your back, yet your body ached from head to toe - no doubt from napping on the ground.  What time was it, anyhow?  You felt as though you had slept for days... everything was hazy, and your head was hurting.

...You couldn't remember your nightmare at all.  Such was the nature of dreams.  But now that you were awake, you felt very much at peace.  Safe.  Nothing could hurt you now.

That was when a dark shape loomed overhead, blocking out the sunlight and throwing a shadow upon your form.

"Cadet [Last]," a familiar voice addressed you, cold and breathy.  

Cold, stormy eyes stared into yours, leaving you hypnotized.  Your voice shook with nervousness.  "L-Lance Corporal... Forgive me, I had fallen asleep..."

You struggled up into a sitting position, feeling stiff and sore.  How long had you slept like this, anyhow? And why was your head hurting so much...? What sort of punishment were you in for, now that you were found napping out of doors.  And by the Lance Corporal, of all people?

All the while, the black-haired man gazed upon you with an unfathomable, silent expression.  Then, he extended a hand, offering his assistance.  The gesture surprised you.

"Can you stand up?" he asked, in a perfectly neutral tone.  

You stared blankly at the open palm held out in front of you.  He waited patiently.  Something made you hesitate for a second, but it was merely a passing thought, faint as the clouds above.  In the end, you accepted the hand, and felt yourself being pulled up to your feet.

"Yes... Thank you, Sir," you murmured, rubbing your eyes drowsily.  This was unexpectedly courteous of him.

The two of you stood together in the wind-blown field.  All around you, forget-me-nots were in full bloom, burning the meadow bright blue.

Levi continued to scrutinize you with ever the enigmatic expression.  For a moment, he looked as though he searched for something within those eyes of yours.  Whether he found it or not, the intensity of his stare eased off after a while.

"In that case, we'll be heading back," he ordered, voice quiet.  You felt no compulsion to argue.  

The two of you followed the path back to the Recon Corps Headquarters.  With utmost care and attention, Levi made sure that you never followed too far behind.

---

Your body hurt from head to toe.  You didn't know the details, but things hadn't been quite the same since your last expedition into Wall Maria.  Strange, irregular bruises marked your skin.  So did a few cuts and wounds here and there, all bandaged up by tidy, precise fingers.  They made you feel ugly.  Freakish in a way.  But really, you couldn't complain.  Most soldiers who come out alive after a tussle with the Titans rarely escaped with all limbs intact.

No, you had retained possession of all physical parts, appendages and extremities.  The one thing you had ended up losing, however, were a good chunk of your memories.

You had been told that you had sustained a traumatic head injury during the mission, one that resulted in partial amnesia.  That would explain the massive headache.  All you could remember was the feeling of falling into a well of darkness, black as ink.  Unable to move, unable to breathe, you had been in pain, and you had been desperate for someone to save you... but in the end, you had managed to wake from your coma.  

His voice was the first sound you had heard, as you stirred drowsily upon the hospital bed.

"Cadet [Last].  Can you hear me?" he had asked.  You remembered the way his dark and angular eyes had locked with yours, holding on fast.  "Look at me.  Do you know who I am?"

Of course you did.  It was Lance Corporal Levi, and you had never heard him sound so anxious for another person's well-being, than the way he sounded now.  So you nodded back, and found yourself smiling faintly.

"...So you do remember me, after all."

He spoke with tension and relief all in the same breath.

You couldn't remember anything about the expedition, nor could you recall much from the weeks before your sortie.  You still knew who you were.  You could still recognize most of your comrades.  The only thing that bothered you was the strange and inexplicable gap in your memory.  It was as though the events during that specific period of time had been completely erased, leaving you clueless as to what had transpired during, right before, and immediately after the expedition.

How troublesome.  So many injuries, and you barely had a clue as to how you had gotten them in the first place, due to your amnesia.  It was probably only natural.  The battle must have been especially tumultuous, everything likely happened so fast that your brain was barely able to process it.  Still, those wounds nagged at you.  Not because they hurt, but because they felt so irregular...so foreign on your skin.  You, a fully-fledged soldier, were no stranger to injury and pain. Save for your concussion, these various scatterings of cuts and bruises shouldn't bother you.  And yet, you were disconcerted, simply because you couldn't remember how it had all happened...

Due to your physical condition and your state of mind, the Commander made the decision to keep you off-duty for an indefinite amount of time... under the Lance Corporal's recommendation, it seemed.  For all intents and purposes, you were still very much a part of the Recon Corps.  However, your only current assignment was to recover as quickly and as thoroughly as possible.  For that, you were anxious to get better soon - the legion couldn't risk assigning you to missions otherwise.

Lance Corporal Levi was assigned to monitor your convalescence.  ... Actually, the way you had heard it, he had volunteered to look after you.  It was strange.  For such a cold and unapproachable person, who paid little heed to the troubles of his fellow soldiers... he seemed to show an unusual amount of attentiveness towards you.  Because of that, you felt as though you could trust him.  He took had taken it upon himself to watch over you, after all.

Levi led you through the hallway in silence.  You were content to follow him like a lost pup, for you were busy massaging the ache out of your forehead, or easing the pain in your bruises.  Beneath a sweep of black, sleek bangs, his eyes peered at you every now and then, noting your every move.  

"Your injuries have nearly mended," he remarked in his usual low monotone.

You nodded, smiling weakly.  "Yes.  They don't hurt as much anymore."

"... I see."

You couldn't tell if the answer satisfied him or not, but either way he averted his gaze to look ahead.  Your footsteps, and his own, were the only sounds that resonated throughout the vast hallway of the keep.

Another question was worded, this time more quietly.  "...And your memories?"

You shook your head gingerly, looking a little sad.  "No luck.  ...All I get are glimpses and flashes, but nothing I can pin down.  The more I try to remember, the more my head hurts."  

"..." Levi said nothing in response. You could tell that he was musing silently on this information as the two of you traversed the hallway.

That was another thing you noticed.  The Lance Corporal harbored a special interest in your lost memories.  In fact, you had a feeling that he was anxious for you to recover.  You gazed at him curiously.  Was it possible that you had forgotten something important? Something that existed between you and Lance Corporal Levi?

You wished he would just tell you.  But maybe the loss of such precious memories was hurting him just as much as it hurt you.

Levi stopped abruptly in front of a familiar-looking door and opened it wide, staring at you expectantly.  When you didn't budge, he narrowed his eyes.  Was it a look of impatience? You couldn't tell.

"What are you waiting for? Get in."  Now this you remembered.  It was Levi's charmingly abrasive way of speaking, just as you remembered.  It was familiar.  Comforting in a way.  You were unable to suppress a grin.  Levi simply scowled at you, waiting for you to move.

Instead, you stared into the room, eyes wide in a distant gaze.  Something tugged at your heartstrings.  "This...seems familiar, somehow."

Levi raised an eyebrow, shoulders tensing.  "Give me a fucking break.  Don't tell me you've forgotten what my office looks like."

"No, it's not that! I do recognize your office... it's just that I don't remember ever stepping foot inside before," you murmured, voice hush with wonder as you stepped inside.  "And yet, I sort of feel like I belong here, as though I've spent so much time in this place.  I don't just recognize it.  I know it, much like I'd know my own room."

Everything about his office was spic and span, just as you had expected it to be.  Everything was polished to the point of gleaming.  As you walked further in, your nose was immediately assaulted by the scent of impeccable cleanliness. You could smell the chemical tones of bleach and soap, mixed with the lighter nuances of lemon oil.  

The less frequent visitor would have wrinkled his nose and coughed immediately at the sterile-smelling fumes... but no, you were accustomed to it.  In fact, you found it strangely nostalgic, which could mean only one thing.

"Sir," You asked, as Levi closed and locked the door behind you.  "I know I can't remember anything at this point, but... did I visit you often, here in this office?"

"...In a manner of speaking, yes," Levi murmured quietly, avoiding your eyes and making his way  towards the desk.  "You did spare a moment or two here, from time to time."

As he moved past, you felt his thin, elegantly pointed fingertips reach out towards your face, delicately brushing across your hair, as though it were a curtain.  It startled you.  The sensation was fleeting, light as a wisp, yet it made your heart jump slightly.  Sensing your nervousness, Levi retracted his hand, a faint current of pain appearing on his features.  Somehow, the gesture felt familiar, for it stirred at the recesses of your memory.  But you couldn't remember anything... and Levi knew it.

It was nostalgic, but you found yourself shivering suddenly.  Was nostalgia supposed to give you chills?

In a curt manner, Levi gestured for you to take a seat in front of the desk, which you quickly obeyed.  Levi himself remained standing, clearly at liberty to wander about his domain as he pleased, while you nervously clutched your knees with his hands, wondering what in the world he had to say to you.

The chair underneath felt familiar against your form.  Yes, you had definitely sat here in this office before.  Several times before, of that you were sure.  

"It has come to my attention, Cadet [Last]...that your sleeping habits have taken a turn for the worse." Levi began, walking towards the windows and drawing the curtains shut, though not without a quick glance outside.  Did he honestly think someone was peeking in? That was a little paranoid, even for the Lance Corporal.

Now that the window was completely covered, the office felt a little darker now.  Levi turned back towards you, regarding you seriously with the faintest tilt of the head.

"To be specific, Hanji's reports say that you have been experiencing violent convulsions, you mutter and moan in your sleep, you have fitful outbursts, and you have trouble waking up even with assistance."  Levi stated, looking immensely dissatisfied.  

You twitched nervously and averted your gaze towards the floor.  His gaze sharpened in a domineering manner upon you.  "Look at me when I'm speaking, Cadet.  Is this true?"

You bit your lip and nodded, forcing yourself to look up at him fearfully.  "Yes, Sir."  The lack of sleep was apparent on your face.  Dark circles hung from your tired eyes, your complexion had seen better days, and you were beset with a splitting headache.  Your concussion wasn't the only cause.  There was also the lack of decent, unbroken, peaceful sleep.

With those piercing eyes, Levi continued to stare at you suspiciously.  "By any chance... have you been experiencing nightmares as of late?"

Your eyes flickered guiltily at your feet.  Your shoulders hunched, and your knuckles tightened against your knees.  The uncomfortable silence said it all.  

"What do you dream of?" he continued to interrogate you.  "Do they remind you of anything you might have forgotten? Or can you not recall them at all?"

You shook your head, frowning your frustration.  "No... I keep dreaming of things that I know I've experienced before, but I just can't remember what.  It's like... every nerve in my body is petrified with terror, but the moment I wake up, it all fades away.  I can't understand any of it.  Did something happen to me during a battle, or...?"

Levi let out an impatient sigh and did not press the question further.  Instead, he stood up and opened up one of the desk drawers.  Something was tossed carelessly upon the surface of the desk in front of you.  You looked up.

It was a notebook, bound in leather.  Blinking in surprise, you saw Levi nodding meaningfully in your direction, and took it as permission to pick up the notebook.  It was perfectly blank.

"This is just my guess," Levi explained bluntly, maneuvering himself to stand before the desk, right in front of you.  "...but it is likely that your mind is suppressing some highly traumatic memory, and your nightmares are a manifestation of that.  Of course, given the fact that you are currently suffering from partial amnesia, I'm willing to wager that you don't have a damn clue what your mind is trying to remember."

The Lance Corporal really didn't try to mince words, did he? Even so, you were inclined to agree with him.  You had a feeling that your nightmares had something to do with the memories you had lost recently, but there was nothing concrete that you could remember.  All it did was leave you terrified, covered in sweat, and more confused than ever.  

But why the notebook? You wondered, turning it in your hands.  

Folding his arms over his uniform, Levi leaned back against the edge of the desk, peering down his nose at you.  Somehow you suspected that this was exactly the way he liked it - for once, the Lance Corporal tended to be the taller one when others were sitting down and he was standing up.  ...Of course, you knew better than to point this out.

"That," Levi stated, jabbing a finger at the notebook.  "Will be your journal for the next few nights.  Every time you wake up from a dream or a nightmare, write down anything you can remember while the details are still fresh in your mind.  Perhaps there is a pattern to these visions that will help you recover your lost memories."

Sensing your apprehension, he continued. "Considering when and when your head injury took place, it is likely that your nightmares are connected to the traumas you had experienced during the mission.  ...I doubt it will be easy, forcing yourself to relive a memory best forgotten.  However..."

Levi averted his gaze towards the window, looking a little hollow.  "...it is my hope that once you remember what happened during the expedition, you will find it easier to recall... other memories as well."

It struck you suddenly, just how lonely the Lance Corporal suddenly looked in that moment.  You realized that some of the memories you had forgotten... were also precious to him.  You didn't know what sort of bond you and Levi had shared before your memories were scattered to the wind, but... you were willing to go through every effort to find out.  It was the least you could do, for both yourself and the man who had taken it upon himself to supervise your recovery.

"I understand," you nodded in earnest.  "I will write down everything I can remember, and I'll let you know if I make some kind of breakthrough."

You hoped that this answer would satisfy him.  However, as Levi turned to direct his gaze upon you once more, you could sense the painful yearning in his eyes.  He was desperately searching for something within you, but the heartfelt memories that were once there...along with the feelings you once had for him... were nowhere to be found.  Seeing that look on his face was enough to make your heart ache.  

"Sir..." you murmured, daring to make a guess.  "Before I lost my memories... were you and I especially.. close?"

Levi regarded you silently.  Fixated on your facial features, his hand lifted and reached out towards you, communicating some unspoken, yet desperate want.  You held your breath in that moment, right as those fingertips came heart-poundingly close to delicately brushing the surface of your cheek.

At the last possible second, he seemed to change his mind, and brushed away your hair instead, letting it trail softly from his fingertips as he drew his hand away.  You could tell that he was holding himself back.

"In a manner of speaking, yes."  The Lance Corporal pursed his lips in an expression of discontent.  "For one, you and I often spoke together on a first name basis, without the use of particular titles or honorifics."

Was that all he was going to say to you? Surely there was more to it than that.  You felt a disappointed, but you understood.  Clearly he wanted you to recover your memory at your own pace, without rushing you.  That was kind of him.

"In that case... Levi," you said with a reassuring smile.  "I'll do my best to remember everything."

In his usual standoffish manner, Levi didn't smile back, but you could tell that he was faintly pleased beneath the surface.

"In light of your current state, I have decided to remove you from the dormitories for the time being," Levi informed you.  "Instead, you will be residing here from now on, in the adjoining room next to my office."

This surprised you greatly.  This office also served as the Lance Corporal's personal quarters, that you already knew.  But you weren't even aware that an adjoining room existed until now.  You were flustered by this arrangement, namely at the very idea of spending the night in such close proximity to your superior officer! Even if the two of you had been close at one point, it seemed highly inappropriate right now!

And so you protested, blushing pink, "I... really don't think that's necessary, Lance Corporal...! I would hate to impose on you by sleeping so close to your office, after all.  I'm totally alright with sleeping in the infirmary, and I don't mind the dorms to be honest...!"

Levi cut you off coldly.  "Seeing as it is my responsibility oversee your recovery, I am required to monitor you as closely as possible during that time.  As such, you will remain within close proximity to me, [First], for as much as is humanly feasible."

His expression turned suddenly dark with animosity.  "In any case... nothing disgusts me more than the thought of having you sleep in that filthy, poorly-kept domicile, surrounded by a crowd of pigs who have absolutely no business interacting with you..."

This shocked you.  Even for Levi, this was rather harsh! He was referring to your comrades after all.  Stunned speechless, you were unable to argue back before he suddenly leaned closer to you, lowering his head until his pointed, clear-cut facial features hovered just over yours.  You felt the impressions of someone asserting his will over you.

"And remember, [First]..." he whispered in a voice like bladed steel, sheathed in the most elegant, softest silk.   "...Don't address me as 'Sir or 'Lance Corporal', but as 'Levi'.  That is an order."

You turned a little red.  Well, now he was being a little pushy.  Still, you decided to trust him.  Levi clearly knew you well, as someone closer than just your superior.  He knew which memories you were missing, and he seemed to have a set plan to help you remember.  If this was going to benefit you, then you might as well give in to his demands, just a little.

"Understood, Levi," you nodded in earnest, moving to stand up as you spoke.  "If you think it is absolutely necessary, then I will accept these terms.  I mean, this clearly important to you.  I - "

"Wrong, [First].  This is important for the both of us," Levi corrected, suddenly moving in until he was uncomfortably close. Effectively, he blocked you from removing yourself from the chair, so you remained sitting down, staring up at him in surprise.

His voice was a whisper, dark and intimate.  "If you trust me, you will obey my instructions to the letter.  Never stray too far away from where I can see you.  And when I ask you a question, tell me nothing but the truth.  Don't try to hide anything from me.  Everything I do will be for your own good.  Remember that."

The black-haired man lifted your face by the chin, tilting it upwards so you could look at nothing else but at him.  His fingers were... somewhat gentle, but they felt cold against your skin.  You were captured, held fast by his dark, brooding eyes.  While you sat there helpless, he traced his fingers softly against your lips, hinting at some suppressed desire within that otherwise cold and emotionless demeanor.

You gulped and nodded.  His behaviour made you nervous, but you were determined to trust him.  He wanted to help you, after all.  That was what you believed.

With that, the man let you go.  Black irises continued to flicker at you, like a cat with its instincts awakened.  But he left you alone.

"Get yourself an early night's sleep, [First]," he said softly.  "You look as though you need it."

---

The room Levi set aside for you was as comfortable as could be, even if the fumes of soap, bleach, and lemon oil was still thick in the air.  It went without saying that he expected you to keep it clean and tidy, especially since it was still considered an extension of his office.  How generous of him to let you sleep here, you thought.  At least now, you wouldn't have to worry about waking up your fellow comrades as a result of your chronic night-terrors.

Still, you were nervous about falling asleep tonight.  As much as you wanted to recover the gap in your memory, you weren't looking forward to another round of nightmares.  But with Levi in the room next door... perhaps you would be able to sleep a little easier tonight.  

Or less, so.  Honestly, the man could psychologically disintegrate the most resolute of people with but a single stare.

With that, you rested your head upon the pillow and closed your eyes.  As you drifted to sleep, it suddenly occurred to you for one brief moment... this room felt familiar, somehow.

...

Contrary to your expectations, you didn't dream of being hunted by Titans.  Instead, it was a man that advanced upon you with predatory intent.  Your memories were hazy.  You couldn't see his face, but he cornered you against a wall and placed his lips coldly against yours.  The excitement made your heart rush with pleasure, and you welcomed it at first.  Sharp, hitched breaths filled the air as your captor's kisses became fierce and penetrating.  You wanted to kiss him back, but he was determined to keep you under his control.  For that purpose, you were not allowed to even move.

You were held in place, like a butterfly pinned by a needle, by pointed fingertips that dug into the soft flesh of your upper arms.  Exhilaration faded first into pain, then fear as those fingers drove further inwards.  Resistance led to no avail.  Your cries and protests were silenced by his lips, and you felt yourself being overwhelmed - not by affectionate desire, but by a primal and savage hunger that terrified you.  Fingernails turned into sharp talons against your soft, yielding flesh.  His lips upon yours were replaced by teeth, sending stinging spurs through the vulnerable insides of your mouth.

You were in pain, and petrified beyond reason.  You wanted him to stop, but he took it further instead.  His breath hissed from the depths of his throat as his tongue delved forcefully into your mouth...

"...!!"

You snapped awake and sat up in bed with a start, breaths heaving.  Your body was covered in a cold sweat.  What the hell was that, just now?! This you wondered, filled with panic.  Was that really just a dream? Or were you remembering something just now? Something that had actually happened?

It had started out as something thrilling.  Then it just became damn terrifying and painful.

You suddenly remembered what Levi had instructed you.  Grabbing the notebook from your nightstand, you feverishly began scribbling every detail you could remember.  The man that had cornered you didn't feel like a stranger, you realized.  It was someone you knew, he wore the uniform of the legion, and yet you were unable to visualize his face...  All you could remember was your lips being crushed by his, those rough kisses turning into painful, vicious bites, and the way he gripped you so painfully...

Your writing paused abruptly.  There was no way to prove that this was more than simply a wild, fanciful  vision... or was there? You could feel phantom impressions of pain against your lips, but as you reached up to touch them, you found nothing....

Wait.  Something did sting there.  Looking into a mirror under candlelight, you found a few small, tiny cuts upon your bottom lip.  They didn't look recent, and in fact they appeared to be almost healed.  But there was something else that bothered you...

You rolled up your sleeves, and gasped quietly at what you saw.  Dark, purpling bruises dotted your forearms from top to bottom, casting a sickly-looking shadow over your complexion.  You had seen them before at the infirmary.  They were ugly in appearance, and painful to the touch.  The only thing you had not noticed until now, however... was the fact that they highly resembled fingerprints, as though someone had indeed gripped you there with excessive force.

Something dreadful stirred through your memory.  You covered your arms and wrapped them around your form, shivering quietly.  You would have to tell Levi about this tomorrow.  You didn't know the meaning behind any of this, all that you knew was that you were suddenly terrified at what might have happened to you during that missing gap of memory.  You needed to talk to someone you could trust.

With that, you finished writing the entry in your journal and fretfully returned to bed.  Sleep did not come easily after that, but eventually you drifted...and dreamt of nothing else that night.

All the while, you failed to notice that during this entire time time, ever since you awoke with a burst, the door to your room had opened from its frame ever so slightly, making nary a sound nor a squeak.  Thin, pointed fingers gripped the knob like a vice, knuckles white as bone.  From behind the crack of the door, an eye peered through the gloom, watching you intently with a wide-open stare.  His iris was the size of a pinprick, positioned dead centre in a sea of ghost white.

---

You awoke that morning to a splitting migraine that lasted throughout breakfast.  Your comrades voiced their concern, but you felt far too high-strung to respond.  How in the world were you supposed to tell them what you had dreamt last night? It had felt so real, so dreadful, yet all it did was raise more questions.  What was it that you had forgotten, exactly? Did you even want to remember?

Chills were running up and down your spine as you left the mess hall.  You could still feel those cold, merciless hands gripping you, as though a ghost tormented you at your every step.  You heard footsteps.  You felt a pair of eyes upon your back.  Was someone following you? Was a demon haunting you? You didn't think a mere dream would have the power to leave you this paranoid...

"Oi, [First]!"

You let out a squeak, startled by the voice that had called out to you so suddenly.

A familiar figure stood over you, wearing the same arrogant grin you knew so well.  "Hey.  Don't look so scared.  It's me! Jean Kirschtein.  You still remember who I am, don't you?"

You stared up at him mutely, and gave him a shaky nod.  You recognized his face.  He was one of the new group of cadets from the 104th Training Division.  You had been in the legion a little longer than they had, but that didn't stop you from interacting with them on a friendly basis.  ... Quite frankly, you were surprised that you were able to remember that much, in spite of your amnesia.  Even so...any specific details remained hopelessly fuzzy.

But when Jean saw your reaction, his grin faded into a worried frown.  "Hey... I couldn't help noticing, but you've been wound up all through breakfast.  Are you alright? I heard you haven't been doing so well.  You took a hit to the head a while ago, didn't you?"

You couldn't answer.  Your voice felt stuck.

Clearly he was concerned for you.  His questions were a little prying, but that wasn't what bothered you.  No, it was the way he stood so close to you now, reminding you of the oppressive, frightening presence you had envisioned the night before.  Was he the one? Your breath caught in your lungs at the very thought.  You tried to move away, and stumbled backwards-

"H-hey! Be careful! You'll fall over-" Jean instinctively reached out to steady you, gripping you by the shoulders.  Your bruises flared with pain, causing you to gasp sharply.

"No, stop! Let go!" You cried out and whimpered in pain, struggling against his grip.  Jean froze, completely bewildered by your reaction.

"[First], what the hell's gotten into you...?"

That was when a cold voice interrupted you both.

"Hey.  You brats.  What is this commotion all about?" inquired Lance Corporal Levi, eyes glinting with cold malevolence as he gazed at Jean Kirschtein.  Dark eyes lingered upon the wiry hands that gripped you so brazenly by the shoulders, causing an eyebrow to twitch faintly in disgust.

When neither you nor Jean answered, Levi spoke in an imperious voice that disallowed any argument whatsoever.

"Unhand my charge, Kirschtein.  Immediately."

The sheer amount of hostility in his voice startled you both.  Jean's hands immediately flew off of your person.  "Y-yes, Sir! Sorry!"  

Your relief was short-lived, for that was when Levi suddenly seized you by the wrist and immediately began dragging you down the hallway, leaving Kirschtein staring wide-eyed after you.

Though you wanted to protest this sort of treatment, you winced and hurried along passively, fearful that he might inadvertently wrench your arm out of its socket.  That said, the Lance Corporal paid no heed, instead ushering you forcefully into his office and closing the door behind him.  The lock clicked in place.

Jean was all but forgotten.  All you could do was stand there in utter bafflement at your superior's unexpected behaviour.

The atmosphere of the room quickly turned tempestuous.  Levi began pacing restlessly up and down the floor of the office, simmering in his own thoughts and gnawing on his thumb with bared teeth.  You stared after him worriedly.  "...Sir?"

You massaged your aching wrist.  Levi always fell into one of his moods every so often, but you always thought that he'd be gentler than this.

Coldly, Levi ignored you for a full minute before finally addressing you.  "[First].  From now on, you will be having your meals either in private, or with me.  You are to stay away from the mess hall and other public dining venues from now on. Such a filthy place..." He bared his teeth in a silent snarl.  He looked absolutely revolted.  "Do I make myself clear?"

Those words left you dumbfounded.  "...Huh?"

"I asked you a question, [First]," he asserted, exerting his authority over you.  "These are your new orders.  Are they understood?"

You understood them, that was for certain.  But to forbid you from having meals with your fellow cadets was rather overbearing.  You tried to find the words to express this, but the throbbing headache that plagued you dampened your will to argue.  Instead, you nodded, clearly unhappy but willing to comply.  

"Yes, Sir... I mean, Levi."

Fortunately, the Lance Corporal accepted your response and relaxed slightly.  Something was clearly setting him on edge lately, that much you could see.  You just wished that he would tell you what was bothering him.  It was as though he was trying to be enigmatic on purpose.  It seemed a little hypocritical.  He wanted you to tell him everything, but Levi himself was the Prince of Secrets.

The Lance Corporal sensed your discontent.  His gaze softened.

"Don't look at me like that.  This is for your own safety," he informed you with a tired sigh.  "I realize that you probably don't understand a goddamn thing at this point.  But believe me, I'm doing my hardest to protect you."

As a soldier, you were hard-wired to obey the judgment of your superiors, and so you accepted this explanation without argument.  But frankly, you were starting to harbor your doubts.

What or who, exactly, was he trying to protect you from?

---

...

...

You were dreaming, yet you were wide awake.  You were wide awake, yet you couldn't see a thing.  You couldn't see a thing, yet you could hear his presence... no, you could feel him wandering around you, breathlessly taking in the very sight of you as though you were a work of art.  There was something exquisite about witnessing a moth ensnaring itself in a spider's web, wings fluttering helplessly against gossamer threads... while the hunter himself surveyed the scene leisurely, feeling right at home and resting well assured that his prey was trapped within his grasp.  

You were lying on the cold hard floor, curled up on your side and unable to move and unable to recall how you had been brought here in the first place.  Your ankles and wrists were bound together tightly, wrapped up in a rough cord that bit painfully into your flesh at the slightest movement.  ...Were they cables from your 3D Maneuvering Gear?  Either way, you didn't know who was keeping you under duress, or what he desired from you. All you wanted, desperately, was for someone to burst in and save you at this point.  

You were blindfolded, and the world remained plunged in darkness.  A wad of cloth was balled up thick and tight inside of your mouth, stuffing it full to the point where your throat felt stretched.  In a humiliating fashion, it forced your lips to remain slightly parted, muffling your voice and leaving you no choice but to inhale and exhale through your nose in shallow, hissing breaths.  You couldn't even whimper, for you were terrified that you would wind up choking.

Blind and paralyzed, you heard his footsteps descend softly all around you, wandering to his heart's content, and staring upon you from every angle possible.  His voice hummed faintly with appreciation.  You were the picture of absolute helplessness, and he was drinking it all in with pleasure.  

You sensed your captor planting his feet firmly on either side of your prone form, causing you to twitch in fear.  He was standing directly over you, clearly enjoying this view best of all.  The thick, hard sole of his boot planted into your shoulder, roughly shoving you over onto your back.  Bound, blinded, and silenced in every way possible, you remained frozen in terror, shuddering beneath his upright form.  Saliva dripped down your throat.  You gurgled and coughed against the gag.

With a sigh, he stooped closer towards the floor - closer to you.  You felt the brush of cold, delicate fingers across the surface of your cheek, causing you to tremble violently.  You heard him smirk, relishing your fear.  A thumb and forefinger delicately pinched the length of cloth that was packed inside your mouth, unraveling it inch by inch from depths of your throat.  Gratefully, you sucked in a lungful of air and relaxed your sore jaws, coughing uncontrollably all the while.  

"Wh-who's there? Who are you? ...Why are you doing this...?"

Silence was your only response.  You cringed as your captor's fingers slipped snugly beneath your blindfold.  It slid smoothly, easily, away from your eyes and off of your head.  Everything was a blurry haze as you blinked and struggled to focus.  The moment you could see the face of the one who had captured you, your eyes widened with shock and disbelief.

...

...

... Every single nerve in your body was shot as you woke up with a snap, letting out an audible gasp.  You were drenched in sweat, and every inch of you was shaking from head to toe.  But your arms and legs were free.  You were neither gagged nor blindfolded, and your captor was nowhere to be seen.  You were safe here, back in the waking world.  

And yet, you felt like crying a little as you picked up the notebook and began writing down everything you could remember.  Every painful, horrific detail.  You refused to believe that any of it had been real.  If something like that had truly happened to you, why were you even still alive right now? How did you end up there in the first place, and how had you escaped? Did you even escape? Or were you simply let go after your assailant had extracted whatever he had wanted from you?

You refused to accept it as truth.  There was simply no way something like that could have happened for real.  It was too terrifying, too horrible to even comprehend, envisioning yourself at the complete mercy of someone who relished in your terror...and the idea of being in complete control over you...

And yet, your body had all the evidence that was needed to confirm the facts.  Your wrists felt sore.  Holding them under candlelight, you saw that faint red lines had been etched into your skin, surrounded by bruises.  All this time they had been there, welting painfully, and yet you had never bothered to notice them until now.  You found the same red marks forming similar lines around your ankles.  

Just like the fingerprints that decorated your forearms, these were NOT the marks left behind from a battle against the Titans.  These were all from a HUMAN attacker, and everything that you had forgotten in your bout of amnesia was related to him.  What he had done had left scars on your psyche, and that was where the nightmares were coming from.

Again, the ensemble of the Recon Corps was still a freshly burned image in your head.  Whoever it was... likely he was still closer to you than you had ever realized before.  A part of you wondered if this was what Levi meant, when he said that he wanted to protect you.  Maybe there was someone in the legion who was still out to hurt you.  Was that what he had meant?

And yet, considering how close you and Levi had apparently been before you were struck with amnesia... you had reason to suspect him as well.  Especially since right now, he was the one closest to you.  He had every chance.  Every opportunity...  

Your psyche resonated with fear at the very thought.  It couldn't be him. Surely...

The silence was shattered by a sudden knocking at your door.  You nearly fell out of your bed.

"[First].  You're making a ruckus.  What's going on in there?" Levi's voice inquired sharply from the other side.

Frantically, you made your way over to the door, opening it just a crack.  

"L-Levi?" you asked in a trembling voice.  "Y-yes, I'm fine.  It was another nightmare.  I-I wrote it down and everything, so you don't have to worry... Everything's alright."  You gulped nervously, still haunted by that terrifying vision... and the sensation of lying helpless and bound upon the floor.  

"You don't sound alright," Levi stated bluntly.  You felt something push against the door.  "I'm coming in."

Scared as hell, you desperately tried to keep the door from opening any further, disallowing any room for him to squeeze through.  "Nonono, you don't have to do that... Please, Levi, go back to sleep-"

Ignoring your protests, Levi shoved his way into your bedroom, kicking the door open in the process.  Huh.  Even this late, he was still in his uniform... sans jacket.  Was he preparing for one of his nightly patrols?

Stumbling back a bit, your cheeks flared red with embarrassment as you immediately covered up your bare shoulders and arms as best you could, using your bare hands.  

Dressed in only a nightgown, you were just barely decent, but Levi paid little heed to that fact.   Instead, he closed the distance with a cryptic look in his eyes.  His footfalls marched purposefully cross the floor while you stood there cringing, fearful at what he might do.  If he really was your tormentor after all this time... the thought made you hyperventilate.  You couldn't breathe, your chest felt as though it might explode...

To your surprise, Levi placed one hand on each side of your head, gently cupping your face and tilting it slightly so that you were looking at him.  His fingers felt smooth and cool against your burning face.  As you stared into his face, he gazed back with a perfectly calm, neutral expression.

"Look at me, [First]," he said, firmly but not harshly.  "Take a deep breath... and let it out.  Slowly.  Gradually.  Keep looking at me, and do as I tell you."  

Levi helped you go through the motions of inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly, over and over again, until you finally calmed down.  All the while, he directed you to look only at him.  

"You're safe now, [First]," Levi reassured you, voice full of conviction.  "Nothing is going to hurt you tonight.  I am here, and I won't let anyone come near you.  If anyone wishes you harm, I swear by the blood of the entire legion, they will have to go through me."

With his words, your nerves finally settled.  Levi wasn't the one trying to hurt you.  No, he was here to help you, in every way possible.  To keep you safe and make sure that you were well-protected.  That was why he wanted to keep you out of public venues.  That was why he wanted you to stay here, in this room.  He was trying to create a safe and protected environment for you, a place where nightmares were the only thing you had to fear.  A place where he would always be nearby to keep watch over you, even as you slept fitfully.

You thought he was being pushy.  Overbearing.  Overprotective.  But really, he was just worried as hell about you.  That was what you believed.  Besides, you weren't in a normal state of mind right now, and Levi was going through every effort to accommodate that.

You still couldn't understand why he was giving you this much attention, a lowly cadet like you... but you were infinitely grateful.

With that, you nodded, feeling moved to tears.  "Thank you... Levi."

At first, the Lance Corporal merely stared at you owlishly, not saying a word.  And then, he moved in, planting a soft, chaste kiss upon your lips.

Your cheeks burned bright red.  ...Well.  That explained things a little bit more.

Levi removed his lips, frowning in annoyance when he saw that you were too stunned to react.  Clicking his teeth, he ordered, "Go back to bed, [First]."

He was back to being his bossy self once more.  It was strangely comforting.  Still feeling dizzy, you wordlessly wandered back to your bed and crawled in.  Your heart was still pounding, but not with fear this time.  Instead, you continued to blush faintly as Levi pulled up the covers and tucked you in.  He even went through the painstaking effort of straightening the sheets all around you (even if it was just his neat-freak tendencies at work here).  Enveloped by warmth, you stared up at him in amazement.  It surprised you just how tender he could be, when he put the effort into it.

Somehow, you found yourself not wanting to be left alone, especially if more horrific visions would be there to greet you the moment you drifted back to sleep.  

Sensing your nervousness, Levi closed his eyes briefly.  Creases began to deepen upon his forehead.  You wondered if you had managed to irritate him again.  But in the end, he relented and perched on the bed, sitting on the bed right next to you.  Your heart jumped slightly as he stared down at you, as you lay there with your head against the pillow.

"... I'll stay until you doze off," he muttered, looking faintly incredulous.  "You spoiled brat."

You pulled up the edge of your sheets to your lips, stifling a giggle.  Levi still preferred to be his usual, abrasive self even when administering his care, didn't he?  You stared at him, murmuring your gratitude, and slowly feeling more and more at ease.  Guarded by a stalwart and protective presence, you felt secure enough to fall back once more into quiet, dreamless sleep.  The last thing you saw before your eyelids gently fell was his face, gazing down upon you with ever the neutral, mysterious expression.

You slept.  Instead of leaving for his office, Levi remained, content to simply stare upon your sleeping form.  While you were drifting in slumber, Levi never left your bedside, nor did he look away for even a breath of a moment.  All was silent in the castle keep as he watched you, save for the sound of your soft and steady breathing.  The seconds became minutes, and the minutes faded into hours.

The mattress creaked ever so slightly as Levi leaned closer.  With his eyes, he drank in every inch of you, from the innocent nuances of your sleeping face, to the way the sheets rose up and sank down gently with each breath.  He listened to your sighs and murmurs with such intensity, as though nothing else in the world mattered.  

Discreetly, he pulled the top edge of the sheets down inch by inch, revealing your neck.  You didn't notice it yet at this point, but the surface of your throat was also darkened by bruises.  Like your arms and shoulders, those marks suspiciously resembled fingerprints... Levi's eyes were even sharp enough to notice the places where the fingernails had left painful looking imprints, all of them red and swollen.

With the tilt of his head, his gaze narrowed slightly.  Softly, he brushed a lock of hair away from your forehead with thin, pointed fingers, trailing them down in a ghost-like manner down the surface of your check, down the line of your jaw... until they reached your neck.

Levi appeared lost in thought, as though something was stirring in the depths of his own memory. That was when his fingers began to curl around the length of your neck, a pale hand wrapping snugly against the warm, yielding flesh of your throat.  His grip didn't tighten any further than that, nor was it enough to wake you.  Even so, you cringed and moaned softly in your sleep, straining against the uncomfortable pressure against your neck.  Your eyes remained closed, but your body twitched.

A faint smile flickered across his pale, narrow lips.  He was careful not to aggravate your bruises, but it was hard to ignore how easily your soft, fragile neck fitted inside his grasp.  Your pulse was pounding against his fingers.  Levi held on fast, savoring this tantalizing and intimate moment.  If he truly felt like it, all he needed was to squeeze a little harder.  With one hand, he could easily snap your neck in two without a shred of effort whatsoever... or if he wanted you to feel a little more pain, he could just give it a squeeze, tightening his hold little by little... 

And all the while, you remained completely oblivious, lost in sleep and unable to notice the cool fingertips that were pressing in, claws first, against the vulnerable skin of your neck.  It was just too easy.

His fingernails bit a little deeper, leaving impressions.  You were whimpering in your sleep now.  With that, Levi immediately let go of your neck, retracting his arm.  Better to hold himself back, he thought... at least for the time being.  You were in such a delicate state of mind after all, what with your amnesia and your chronic nightmares.  But everything was going just as he had hoped... if not better.  

He wanted to make this moment last.

For the next few hours until the dawn broke, Levi continued to gaze at you in silence, admiring you from head to toe.  Those bruises of yours, both the ones that had been there all along, as well as the new ones he had given you just now on top of your existing ones, didn't look ugly or revolting to him in the least.  After all, they served as proof that he had been there...

---

...

...

...You were clinging to life by a thread, struggling helplessly against the fingers that pressed deeply into your neck.  Your hips were pinned down by the weight of his form as he straddled you, both hands wrapped around your neck in a merciless vicegrip.  You were immobilized, and his palms were busy at work crushing your windpipe.

Your eyes burned with tears.  You couldn't breathe.  You couldn't move.  The frightening pressure against your veins was turning your vision black with spots, muffling every sound, and filling every inch of you with agony.  Desperately, you fought against the grip of your attacker, using your last fighting breaths to try and pry his fingers away, but to no avail.  All the while, he continued to lean in closer, crushing you with his weight as he remained on top of you.

You had no words.  All you wanted was air.  You wheezed and gasped, but not a single breath could get past.  You pleaded with your eyes, and yet your teeth were clenched in defiance.  His face hovered above yours.  In your dream, all you could see was a blurred-out image... but you could tell that he was smirking coldly.  You knew full well that he was enjoying every second of this, soaking up your terror and your despair... testing your limits...

"You know..." His voice murmured in your ear, cruel and soft as silk.  "...There is a lot you can learn about a person by staring into their eyes... as they are pushed closer and closer to death's door..."

You had no answer to that.  Your lungs felt as though they might explode.  What he could possibly stand to learn from you by witnessing your pain and fear, you had no idea.  

...

...

...

In your dream, you blacked out.  The nightmare ended, and you snapped awake, drawing in a hissing gasp of air.  Your eyes were wide, and your face felt cold and pale.  Tears sprung to your eyes as you lay there, closing your eyes and going through the motions that Levi had taught you to calm yourself down.  Breathe in... breathe out... It had been far easier when he had been there to reassure you, every step of the way.

The sun had barely broken the horizon.  Your eyes were swollen, and you were deprived of energy, but there was no way you could go back to sleep now.  Your headache had grown worse, pounding against the soft insides of your skull like a hammer.  You curled up and whimpered pitifully into your pillow.

Right now, there was only one person you needed, one person whom you could trust, and all you wanted was to see him again.

...

[to be continued]